I would like to start this weeks instalment of the blog by returning to the question that I left you with at the end of my first post:

What is Love?

After giving this some thought and resisting the urge to turn to Google or ChatGPT!
I have come up with my definition of love with the aim of being as concise as possible.

What is Love?

“A feeling of deep care and understanding.
 A desire to nurture a relationship with investment & enjoyment in the process and outcome. ”

— Grace

The semantics of love and my definition will undoubtedly differ depending on the exact person I am expressing love towards, however, for me this statement is one that encompasses love as a whole; as I experience it.

Within this definition I am aiming to articulate that I believe that love is active.

It is something that you do and work on to grow and deepen.

It requires:
Investment,
Time,
& Emotion.

It can be felt across a spectrum rather than being one dimensional or definitive.

Given that we all have different definitions of what love is, it follows that we will all have different ways express love and practice self love.

MIND, BODY, SPIRIT

In my previous blog post I explored the ways we practice self love in the form of caring for our physical bodies.
But as we know WE are much more that our physical bodies.

The ‘self’ as we see it is made up of many components.

The physical self,

The emotional self,

The physiological self

or MIND, BODY, SPIRIT.

Self love encompasses all of these and it is my view that if you neglect one part of ‘the self’ the others will suffer and your overall sense of wellbeing will be negatively impacted.

With that in mind I am going to use this weeks blog post to offer insight into some of the tools that I have in my toolkit for caring for my’SELF’.

As we looked at the physical last week I will focus in on mind and spirit.

My hope, as always, for what you are about to read is that it may give you some inspiration to draw from should you need.

MIND

JOURNALLING

Journaling, the act of recording your thoughts, feelings and experiences.

Putting pen to paper, fingers to keyboard, voice to voice note.

Journalling can take many forms.

For me, journaling offers a space to draw thoughts and feelings from my mind, out and into a visual format.
In turn helping me to untangle, translate and process things that are coming up for me at the time.

Sometimes, I look back at my journal entries; I have found this to be useful to me to provide some clarity in times of confusion.

In contrast, there are journal entries that I will never have a need to look back at.
They are an outlet for the moment in time that they capture and nothing more.

Over the last few years of journaling I have learnt some important things about the process that I would like to share with you now.

1 - You are not writing for someone else to read.

Grammar, punctuation, sentence structure, it doesn’t matter.

When I began journalling, I was under the impression that I was writing as if my secondary school English teacher was going to be coming along with her red pen to correct my grammar and numerous spelling mistakes!

Funnily enough, this wasn’t the case.

I soon discovered: sentences aren’t needed, punctuation can take a back seat and you can write freely.
This discovery allowed me to use journaling as a space to express all my thoughts. Especially the ones I could not clearly articulate to others.

One thing I would love for you to remember is that when you journal you have the choice over the context of your journal. You can choose to share it with others, if that is what you want.
Or, you can choose to keep it entirely to yourself!

PRACTICAL TIP:

If you are worried about someone else reading I would suggest steering away from paper journaling and instead opt to journal on your phone; allowing for the within privacy that comes with a password protection.

2 - Be as consistent or as inconsistent as you like.

At the beginning of Covid I stated to journal, daily.
I fell into the trap of thinking that it was something that was a non-negotiable for everyday.

As it would transpire, having the pressure of doing something everyday was too much for me (and in reality it is not how my brain works). It became a chore.

Now, I journal sporadically.
There is no set structure.

I have long journal entries, single words and pictures. It is a scrapbook of me.

3- Journaling is a great way to give you a sense of calm and grounding.

When you express yourself in a journal, sometimes, it feels like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.

You feel lighter for getting your thoughts out and it can provide you a constructive way of understanding yourself better.

SUPPORT NETWORK & CONNECTION

Something that always done wonders for my mind is having such an incredible support network.
Knowing I have friends that will always listen, always try to understand me and offer valuable input is priceless!

Over the years, I have started to see these connections as one of my most important investments.

I am incredibly grateful to have people in my life that help to prop me up in times of struggle and stand right by my side to cheer with me when things are going well.
Life is never quite as smooth as we would like but in my mind it is incredible how much more enjoyable it can be with the right people by your side.

So invest yourself in the connections that matter to you.

Give yourself, your time, your care and attention and experience how fulfilling life can be with people in your corner.

CLEANING

Last but not least and perhaps a little unexpected for a list about the mind is cleaning!

I am firm believer that environment makes a massive difference to your state of mind. Where we live and what we surround ourselves with plays a large part in this.

What do we see when we wake up?
What are we surrounded with?

How much calm can we derive from our environment?

I live in a small 2 bedroom house in Portsmouth and have done for sometime.

Over the years I have become very aware that this house is most definitely my safe space; I can come home shut the door and find calm.

I have a job that involves a lot of interaction with people and whilst this is something that I absolutely love I have to rebalance this with quiet.

Cleaning has become my way to do this.

When I return home from work, I clean the kitchen, hover, water the plants as a way of decompressing.

It is a mindful task that is far enough away from what I have just been doing and not remotely strenuous it acts as a transition from work to rest, whilst ensuring that I am not living in chaos!

SPIRIT

IMMERSION IN NATURE (WALKING)

A moving meditation.

That is how I would describe walking.

The continuous, gentle movement, putting one foot in front of the other and immersing in nature.

This is something that I find helps me to give space to let my thoughts come and go.

It helps to give me clarity and the scenery feeds my soul.

There are many reasons why I am a massive advocate for walking and this is something that I frequently discuss with my clients.

You can increase your Vitamin D levels and in turn your energy levels.
You can increase your daily activity and your body will benefit from moving more.
You can take some time for yourself, give yourself space to breathe with minimal distractions
(even less so if you leave your phone at home).

Much like journalling, walking doesn’t need to be regimented, long or short.

It is when and where works for you.

Can you add a 10 minute walk into your lunch break?

Could you walk to work, or walk before work?

I can’t imagine many of us, if we are honest with ourselves, can’t answer yes to one or both of these questions.

BOOK RECOMMENDATION:

‘Walking in the Rain’

Dept.store for the mind.

YOGA

My weeks and my life are jam-packed with movement, from weight lifting to walking and Pilates.
Yoga gives me something different.

It is something that I am not qualified to teach and as such I find I am able to fully immerse myself in it; without so much expectation or distraction.

There are not many things that I enjoy more than grabbing my mat and heading out to a yoga class, where I can be anonymous and explore moving my body free from distraction.

Stepping on my mat has always been a practice that allows me to step into my whole being.

Moving with my breath, not something that I can do whilst I am teaching as I need to talk!

REWIND

Circling back to my definition of love:

A feeling of deep care and understanding.
A desire to nurture the relationship with investment & enjoyment in the process and outcome.

These practices, listed above, are my way of showing myself care and understanding.
They are my investment into myself and committing to them helps me to better understand and nurture the relationship I have with myself.

They are my SELF LOVE.

Now, let’s come to you.

What was your definition of love?

Read it out loud.

Now.

What small steps can you make today to apply your definition of love to yourself, to deepen your love for yourself?

Mind, Body, Spirit: Acts of Self-Love.