Unlocking the Power of Self-Love: One Step at a Time.
Often, when conceptualising a topic that you want to discuss, a task you need to complete or goal you want to achieve, envisaging the final product/outcome is overwhelming.
You may know what you want to do or what you may want to say, but not yet have the ‘HOW’.
As such the steps you need to take to get there are still very much a mystery!
As a Personal Trainer, a large part of my role is working with my clients to achieve their goals.
Clients come to me, usually, having a clear idea in their minds of the goals that they would like to achieve:
They are at the beginning of their journey and sometimes the end goal can feel a million miles away.
They invest in my service to provide them guidance and support with the ‘HOW’.
I once had a client that approached me with the very tangible goal of performing 10 press ups.
Did they achieve their goal?
YES.
Did we start with 10 press up’s?
NO.
We broke it down into smaller achievable goals, worked on technique and building supporting muscle. Stayed committed and the results soon followed.
I have learnt, in a process of trial and error, to follow the same approach with my challenges.
More specifically in this case: my writing.
Following the same advice I would give any of my clients:
‘Start with just one step.
Focus on putting one foot in front of the other, in the right direction, and eventually you will get there.’
Building Blocks
I am going to construct this next post upon some simple building blocks which are based on my assessment that there are multiple forms of love:
Self Love
The love we have for ourselves.
Parental Love
The first form of love that we may experience; It can often be seen as unconditional.
Romantic Love
The love that we have for someone with whom we share a deep intimate connection with.
Platonic Love
Non-sexual, love for friends. Often founded on mutual connection and respect.
By categorising the types of love (as I see them) I am attempting to provide some structure from which to make my observations.
Making it clear which type of love I am going to discuss to avoid confusion.
With this in mind, this weeks instalment of the blog will focus on the topic of: SELF LOVE
Exploring its intricacies and offering some of my insights.
Self Love
This encompasses:
How we talk to ourselves: Our internal dialogue - practicing self acceptance.
How we care for our bodies, physically and mentally.
How we take care of our overall wellbeing: Rest, movement & nutrition.
Self awareness, being aware and catering for our emotional needs.
One thing that you can guarantee in this life is that you will have to have a relationship with yourself for all of the time that you are on this planet and investing in your own self love is integral to creating a positive experience of life.
Self love, I believe, is something that we practice.
We make mistakes, we learn and we grow (if we choose to).
As life is a journey there may be times where the love that we have for ourselves takes a hit.
We may experience neglect when it comes to caring for the self wether that is on a physical, mental or emotional level.
Conversely, there may be times where we experience high levels of self acceptance; benefiting from all that can bring to us and those around us.
Ultimately, I aim to use this space to provide you a space to reflect on your own self care and possibly provide some ideas of how to maximise your experience.
Caring for your Physical Self
An integral part of self love is expressed in the care that we take over our physical self: our body.
I am going to focus in on this as a good place to start.
I want to begin this part of the conversation with a little background on me for context.
Looking after my physical self has not always been a point of focus for me or indeed something that I was particularly in tune with.
In my younger years, physical wellbeing was not something that I resonated with.
I wasn’t particularly sporty.
In fact, ‘Physical Education’ was the only subject at school that I failed at GSCE (I made up for this in my 20’s through undertaking my PIlates and Personal Training Qualifications.)
I remember a time where I resented the idea of walking anywhere and would frequently opt to take the path of least resistance when it came to moving my body.
To summarise, I was disconnected.
What Changed?
I discovered the joy that can be found in movement.
During my university years, I stumbled into a fitness class (cardio combat).
I entered feeling out of my depth but came out with the biggest smile on my face.
Group fitness classes became an integral part of weekly routine and as well as exercise helping me manage the stresses of my degree it saw me see (and feel) a change within my body.
I was becoming fitter, healthier, happier.
I was experiencing what it was to connect with my body.
Taking care of my physical self is now one on my non-negotiables.
‘Move with Grace’ facilitates a means to help me nurture this value in my clients; maximising their Health and Happiness.
I believe that the key elements to taking care of your physical self are:
BALANCE
CONSISTENCY
INVESTMENT
Balancing the Books
It can never be all or nothing.
Contrary to what you may have head healthy bodies are not built from excess ‘going hard or going home’ every day!
YES, the body needs to be worked:
Strength built,
Aerobic capacity tested,
Mobility and flexibility developed.
But it is important to remember that it also needs rest, sleep & good nutrition.
Finding a good balance is an integral part of establishing, and maintaining, a good level of physical self care.
What a ‘good routine’ is will vary from person to person and is open to changes as our lifestyles and circumstances fluctuate.
Something that is important to remember:
Your balance may look (and feel) very different to your friends, family and neighbours.
It is hard for me to comment (without knowing the intricacies of your life) on what a good balance may be BUT I will provide comment on how it may feel so you can make your own assessment.
GOOD BALANCE FEELINGS
GROUNDED:
Feeling of being well rested and connected. You are not easily overwhelmed or stressed.
CONNECTED:
To your day to day life, feeling a sense of purpose. You don’t find yourself distracted or wishing your days away.
ENJOYMENT:
You take enjoyment from your life (not all of the time, that’s not realistic. But overall you experience joy). As such you have a positive experience from your relationships and are present with those around you.
ENERGY:
You may experience consistent energy levels and not be feeling drained.
CONTENTMENT:
You are able to manage and deal with your mental, physical and emotional needs. You feel happy with how your life feels and the direction it is moving in.
Consistency is Key
A familiar phrase and one that we may have heard all too frequently.
But, what we may not be clear on is WHY.
We are very much are the sum of our daily, weekly, yearly actions.
Our bodies need to be trained.
Repetition is the key to improvement.
Much like a toddler learning to crawl or walk.
They practice, they fall, they learn and then they succeed.
They are up on their feet and suddenly nothing within reaching distance is safe!
Important to remember however, that they don’t stop practicing walking as soon as they are up.
It is a process of continued growth.
So when it comes to familiarising the body and benefiting from improvement, consistency really is key.
How might this look:
Managing your nutritional needs to ensure that you are feeding your body what it needs for good health. (Planning is key here so you don’t come unstuck by convenience.)
Investment
Last but not least we come to investment.
Caring for the physical self is a lifelong investment and I would argue one of the most important that you will make.
If you get it right you will reap the benefits of an enjoyable, fulfilling life.
If you get it wrong .. well, the consequences are potentially disastrous.
As such, I believe that we should prioritise our resources of:
TIME, MONEY & EFFORT towards caring for our physical selves.
Seeing it as a life-long investment that will pay dividends in the form of the quality of life we experience.
Time
There is always time to care for your physical self.
Life is busy, yes.
It can be hectic, overwhelming, stressful.
BUT if you see the importance of looking after your body, you will make time for it.
I am frequently in awe of my clients and the time that they commit.
I have clients from all walks of life, all have different time constraints.
But one thing that they all have in common is their commitment to investing the time in their physical self.
They fit their personal training sessions in, during their lunch breaks, after work, before work.
WHY?
Because they are invested. As such they commit the time that is required to see that investment reach its full potential: A HEALTHY BODY.
Money
Personal trainers, gym memberships, nutritional plans.
All of these have associated financial investments, of which, I believe are helpful when it comes to committing you to caring for your physical self.
Investing finically is a good way of ensuring you place value on what you are investing it.
We are less likely, from a psychological point of view, to underutilise a resource when we have financial investment in it (especially in a cost of living crisis!).
Effort
Undoubtedly there are times when investing effort into your body is just that, an effort.
Wether it be increasing the intensity of your workouts,
challenging yourself with an activity that is outside of your comfort zone
or planning and prepping your nutrition to support your body.
It is an effort.
But again one where the rewards of feeling happy and healthy very much speak for themselves.
Reaching the Finish Line
I knew I was Invested in the outcome and I was able to run with the knowledge that I place a lot of focus on caring for my physical body.
As such, I knew it was capable.
This knowledge was my power.
When my body wanted to stop my mind kicked in.
“Grace, your body can do this.”
And it did.
One hour and fifty three minutes later, I crossed the finish line.
My body and my mind had got me there, in one piece!
I would like to leave you on this closing thought:
Taking care of your physical body is very much an act of self love.
Doing so, can provide you peace and reassurance that you body is healthy and ready to tackle life’s challenges.
The best part of all of this?
It is something that, if you choose, is well within your reach.